My son crawled into the "big bed" early Saturday morning complaining of a headache. His sinus had been bothering him, so I thought he had a sinus headache. By 7:00 a.m. he was burning up with a fever of 103.8. I gave him some Tylenol and tucked him under the covers for a bit more sleep.
The fever lasted all day with the Tylenol not having any effect. In the afternoon, my husband took our son to the urgent care clinic. Trevor requested a nasal swab and the doctor said there wasn't any need after listening to the symptoms. When she heard about his extreme lethargy, she said, "that's what I was waiting to hear." She wrote a script for Tamiflu and little did we know it's extremely difficult to find a pharmacy with the product to fill the prescription! At 2 minutes to closing, I found the right store and picked up the medication. The pharmacist told me it had to be taken with food and could cause drowsiness.
My son had his first dose at 8pm that evening. By 10pm he had thrown up all over himself, his bed, sheets and pillow. My husband found him standing at the top of the staircase unaware he had vomited all over himself. At 10:45 pm I checked on my son to see if he was still feverish. He woke up and looked at me with such fear in his eyes. He started to sob, ask me questions, not really aware where he was and not even certain who I was. He was hallucinating and it totally freaked me out! I ran to get my husband who was able to him. We had to move him into our bedroom for the night as he was so frightened in his own room. He calmed down almost immediately when in our bedroom and went to sleep again quickly.
I immediately googled Tamiflu and found nausea and vomiting a common side effect. I read further to find if the person taking the medication becomes delusional to stop taking it immediately!!! I filled with guilt over giving the Tamiflu to my son. What kind of poison had I poured into his little body?! Why are they prescribing this medication if the side effects are so severe?
I barely slept all night, listening for any sound my son made. At 4 a.m. I felt him and the fever was almost gone. When he woke up in the morning he wanted breakfast. I was so relieved to see some improvement in how he was feeling.
He ate three meals yesterday, had some energy and the fever was gone. Today he slept in until 8:30 and again ate three meals. He came outside with me for a few minutes, to get some fresh air, that was all he was up for. Another day of rest tomorrow and hopefully he'll be feeling even better. I'd like to see some colour back in his cheeks and his eyes not looking so sore and glassy before I send him back to school.
It's scary when a child becomes so ill. I know a fever is the body's way of fighting off an infection, but it lasted over 24 hours and the Tylenol did nothing to bring it down. His whole little body felt like it was on fire where ever I touched him. No wonder he named his new Webkinz dragon Fire!!!
Tonight I am feeling very thankful for his returning to good health. I will continue with his Kid-E-Care supplement to boost his immune system and do the same for my girls. I was so happy to find it at the health food store. I try to follow alternative health care and this incident over the prescribed medication was a strong reminder of how my children do much better with natural health solutions.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Feeling proud
I did it! Yesterday I ran the 5k at the Zoo and it was an amazing event. My children had given me tons of advice: walk 1k/run 1k, only run up the hills and walk down the hills, walk when you are tired. I took their advise and hugs, tucked them into my heart and set off alone.
As I merged onto the busy highway, I wasn't sure which I felt more anxious about, the drive or the 5k. I don't like to travel the busy highway, but yesterday not wanting to miss the run, I forced myself to do it. With the music blaring and me singing at the top of my lungs, the drive was quick and painless.
This being my first running event I had no expectations, so finding out there were over 4000 participants was surprising. After picking up my kit, I checked my bag, attached my number to my jacket and lined up at the start line with all the others. There are some very fit people in this world and many of them were in this race! The seasoned runners were decked out in fasionable running attire, ready to run, look cool and stay cool but warm at the same time. I put myself in the last wave of starters knowing my pace was slow, and was quite relieved to find out I wasn't the only one! Yes, I had thought perhaps I might be the only one in the 36+ minute category. :-)
When it was time to start I was ready; my toes were a bit numb from the cold and I had to get my circulation going to warm them up. The starter told us the first part was uphill and there were stairs, so my plan to walk the first .5k paid off. When I got to the top of the hill I felt great with a steady breathing rhythm, legs warmed up to run and the crowd thinning out as everyone found their pace.
At the 3.5k point, I felt a new serge of energy as I ran past the steelband playing their drums. The lions were roaring as I saw them through the observation window, and the zebras huddled together for warmth. The sun was shining and the fall leaves were in full show. It was a glorious morning!
When I hit the 4k point I knew I had enough energy to run the last leg. I pretended my family was at the finish line cheering me on and I could envision their smiling faces. It was all I needed to keep running. Crossing the finish line was amazing and I just wanted to hug myself for completing the course.
I completed my first 5k! [did I actually say first, because that could mean there will be a second?!]
As I merged onto the busy highway, I wasn't sure which I felt more anxious about, the drive or the 5k. I don't like to travel the busy highway, but yesterday not wanting to miss the run, I forced myself to do it. With the music blaring and me singing at the top of my lungs, the drive was quick and painless.
This being my first running event I had no expectations, so finding out there were over 4000 participants was surprising. After picking up my kit, I checked my bag, attached my number to my jacket and lined up at the start line with all the others. There are some very fit people in this world and many of them were in this race! The seasoned runners were decked out in fasionable running attire, ready to run, look cool and stay cool but warm at the same time. I put myself in the last wave of starters knowing my pace was slow, and was quite relieved to find out I wasn't the only one! Yes, I had thought perhaps I might be the only one in the 36+ minute category. :-)
When it was time to start I was ready; my toes were a bit numb from the cold and I had to get my circulation going to warm them up. The starter told us the first part was uphill and there were stairs, so my plan to walk the first .5k paid off. When I got to the top of the hill I felt great with a steady breathing rhythm, legs warmed up to run and the crowd thinning out as everyone found their pace.
At the 3.5k point, I felt a new serge of energy as I ran past the steelband playing their drums. The lions were roaring as I saw them through the observation window, and the zebras huddled together for warmth. The sun was shining and the fall leaves were in full show. It was a glorious morning!
When I hit the 4k point I knew I had enough energy to run the last leg. I pretended my family was at the finish line cheering me on and I could envision their smiling faces. It was all I needed to keep running. Crossing the finish line was amazing and I just wanted to hug myself for completing the course.
I completed my first 5k! [did I actually say first, because that could mean there will be a second?!]
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
what makes a good parent?
It's close to midnight as I sit here typing on my blog. I am baking oatmeal chocolate chip muffins to pack in my children's lunches tomorrow. Yes...I know...I'm a great Mom!
It's tough to be a "good" parent because every parent has their own definition of "good". I have had friends put me on a pedestal saying I have endless patience, do so many crafts with my kids, volunteer in all of their classes at school. I look at parents who work full time outside the home and wonder how in the world they do it! Where do they get their energy and how do they manage to get it all done?
Tonight, I'm not feeling like a great parent. No, I didn't lose it with one of my kids (which I really hate doing). It's what I heard one of my daughter's dance teachers said to her last week during a dance practise. They were learning choreography to a Miley Cyrus song, shaking their hips at one point and then rolling their shoulders in another and the teacher told them to look "sexy". When I heard this tonight from another trio Mom, I felt like throwing up. My stomach has been churning for the hours since dance finished for the evening.
These girls are 8 and 9 years old, not anywhere near womanhood and being sexy. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue for this young teenage dance instructor to say, but totally inappropriate in my opinion. It has resurfaced my dislike of the competitive dance world...and both of my daughters are competitive dancers. When I used to watch the shows, before we entered the competitive world of dance, I didn't understand why they had to put so much make-up on the young dancers, why some of the dance moves were inappropriate and how offensive it was to hear adults it the audience cat calling the young girls on the stage. I liked our studio because the girls were dancing to age appropriate songs and still looked like young girls on stage.
But now I find myself questioning...is the studio really different, or did I just become immune to what was going on. Am I damaging my daughter's self image having them in competitive dance? Am I blowing this way out of proportion?
Even though the muffins are made, I still need to decide what I will do about this comment, and ask my daughter about the conversation. It's not just what you do for your children that makes you a good parent. It's how you deal with and help them through situations life throws their way. Maybe the comment didn't affect my daughter at all...but I'm going to find out.
It's tough to be a "good" parent because every parent has their own definition of "good". I have had friends put me on a pedestal saying I have endless patience, do so many crafts with my kids, volunteer in all of their classes at school. I look at parents who work full time outside the home and wonder how in the world they do it! Where do they get their energy and how do they manage to get it all done?
Tonight, I'm not feeling like a great parent. No, I didn't lose it with one of my kids (which I really hate doing). It's what I heard one of my daughter's dance teachers said to her last week during a dance practise. They were learning choreography to a Miley Cyrus song, shaking their hips at one point and then rolling their shoulders in another and the teacher told them to look "sexy". When I heard this tonight from another trio Mom, I felt like throwing up. My stomach has been churning for the hours since dance finished for the evening.
These girls are 8 and 9 years old, not anywhere near womanhood and being sexy. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue for this young teenage dance instructor to say, but totally inappropriate in my opinion. It has resurfaced my dislike of the competitive dance world...and both of my daughters are competitive dancers. When I used to watch the shows, before we entered the competitive world of dance, I didn't understand why they had to put so much make-up on the young dancers, why some of the dance moves were inappropriate and how offensive it was to hear adults it the audience cat calling the young girls on the stage. I liked our studio because the girls were dancing to age appropriate songs and still looked like young girls on stage.
But now I find myself questioning...is the studio really different, or did I just become immune to what was going on. Am I damaging my daughter's self image having them in competitive dance? Am I blowing this way out of proportion?
Even though the muffins are made, I still need to decide what I will do about this comment, and ask my daughter about the conversation. It's not just what you do for your children that makes you a good parent. It's how you deal with and help them through situations life throws their way. Maybe the comment didn't affect my daughter at all...but I'm going to find out.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
what will be, will be
Today I chose to enjoy and appreciate what is...and what is not. I find it difficult to sit with feelings of lack or inadequacy. Compared to many, I want for nothing. It`s easy to appreciate all that is in my life, but equally important is to appreciate all that is not. In accepting what is not, I can find abundance in what was seemingly empty.
I had a wonderful reflexology treatment this morning which left me feeling so relaxed and tired. A good reflexology session is like a full body massage and this one was amazing. I was fortunate enough to win the treatment in a raffle and I am so appreciating the gift today!!!
I'm still walking/jogging to get ready for the 5km next weekend. It's only 11 more days. I don't know if I'll be able to run the whole thing, but it doesn't really matter. The reason I entered was to improve my health by continuing to exercise and I've done this! I realized I didn't want to blog about it every time I went for a jog because it was either a great run or a lousy run, not much to write about.
My boxer has been an enthusiastic participant in jogging with me. She looks forward to our time together and now rather than try to play tug 'o war with the leash, she is content to jog alongside me. It's much easier to run when I'm not being pulled to one side all the time!! The only downfall is that every time she sees me putting on my running shoes she goes berserk thinking it's time for another run! :-) Ruby really does brighten up my days.
I had a wonderful reflexology treatment this morning which left me feeling so relaxed and tired. A good reflexology session is like a full body massage and this one was amazing. I was fortunate enough to win the treatment in a raffle and I am so appreciating the gift today!!!
I'm still walking/jogging to get ready for the 5km next weekend. It's only 11 more days. I don't know if I'll be able to run the whole thing, but it doesn't really matter. The reason I entered was to improve my health by continuing to exercise and I've done this! I realized I didn't want to blog about it every time I went for a jog because it was either a great run or a lousy run, not much to write about.
My boxer has been an enthusiastic participant in jogging with me. She looks forward to our time together and now rather than try to play tug 'o war with the leash, she is content to jog alongside me. It's much easier to run when I'm not being pulled to one side all the time!! The only downfall is that every time she sees me putting on my running shoes she goes berserk thinking it's time for another run! :-) Ruby really does brighten up my days.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
here's to you
and you and you.....
Yesterday my baby boy turned 7....no he's not a baby anymore, but he's my youngest and I affectionately call him my baby on his birthday as I grab him and put my cheek against his.
On each of my children's birthdays I press play on the movie of their life. Beginning with pregnancy, I try to recall how it felt when they danced inside me; every kick, wiggle, turn, elbow jab, finger poke and sleepy calm. I remember how labor started slow or fast, the hospital visit wondering if I'd stay or get sent home, my water breaking, the final rush of giving birth and holding my newborn babe. I loved every moment and still relish the details.
Yesterday we talked about each of their births and they giggled to hear their own story. My first wasn't sure she wanted to come out, my second was in a big hurry to see her new world, my third just couldn't make up his mind whether he was ready to be born or not!
I relive each year with images flashing across my mind and run through the emotions of parenthood, but mostly sheer joy in celebration of the wonderful children I co-created. The songs I sang to them at bedtime, their favourite stories, their personal bedtime rituals, their giggles, first words still bring a tear to my eye as it seems like only yesterday. My first had to fall asleep nose to nose when she was a toddler, my second always pinchedd the skin on my neck when she breastfed, my third always intertwined his fingers in mine even as an infant with tiny hands.
Raising children is a huge responsibility and on this day I choose to focus on ease. The ease of knowing I am doing a great job raising happy and healthy children. My children are gifts given to me for such a short time before they move on with thier own lives. I only hope they know how much I love them and feel so thankful for what they continue to bring to my life every day.
Yesterday my baby boy turned 7....no he's not a baby anymore, but he's my youngest and I affectionately call him my baby on his birthday as I grab him and put my cheek against his.
On each of my children's birthdays I press play on the movie of their life. Beginning with pregnancy, I try to recall how it felt when they danced inside me; every kick, wiggle, turn, elbow jab, finger poke and sleepy calm. I remember how labor started slow or fast, the hospital visit wondering if I'd stay or get sent home, my water breaking, the final rush of giving birth and holding my newborn babe. I loved every moment and still relish the details.
Yesterday we talked about each of their births and they giggled to hear their own story. My first wasn't sure she wanted to come out, my second was in a big hurry to see her new world, my third just couldn't make up his mind whether he was ready to be born or not!
I relive each year with images flashing across my mind and run through the emotions of parenthood, but mostly sheer joy in celebration of the wonderful children I co-created. The songs I sang to them at bedtime, their favourite stories, their personal bedtime rituals, their giggles, first words still bring a tear to my eye as it seems like only yesterday. My first had to fall asleep nose to nose when she was a toddler, my second always pinchedd the skin on my neck when she breastfed, my third always intertwined his fingers in mine even as an infant with tiny hands.
Raising children is a huge responsibility and on this day I choose to focus on ease. The ease of knowing I am doing a great job raising happy and healthy children. My children are gifts given to me for such a short time before they move on with thier own lives. I only hope they know how much I love them and feel so thankful for what they continue to bring to my life every day.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Running to a healthier life Day 2
I felt like I was going to die! Why did I wait until it was so bloody hot outside to go for a run. I finally got up my nerve to take my running off the treadmill into the outside world and I picked the hottest part of the morning to do it!
Oh well.........I did it!!!!!!! It was incredibly difficult until the final 5 minutes and then it felt easier somehow. Perhaps it was knowing I was getting closer to home, or knowing I had to keep up my energy for my dog to keep going too. Tomorrow I will go much earlier before it's this hot!
Running outside is very different than running on my treadmill in the air conditioned basement. The pavement doesn't have the give of the treadmill and there's no TV to keep my mind occupied on something other than how much my lungs are struggling to take in enough oxygen. The heat felt unbearable at times and it was during those moments we walked.
I have my ipod shuffle but couldn't find a song that could lift me up to a higher energy. Maybe next time I'll just listen to my feet pounding the pavement and Ruby panting. It might be easier to maintain a running and breathing rhythm if I start without music for now.
If anyone on this blog site wants to join me, I'd love to read about your training experience too!!
So that's it. I have to stretch if I want to be able to walk later today and tomorrow! I certainly hope Day 3 is easier than today.
Oh well.........I did it!!!!!!! It was incredibly difficult until the final 5 minutes and then it felt easier somehow. Perhaps it was knowing I was getting closer to home, or knowing I had to keep up my energy for my dog to keep going too. Tomorrow I will go much earlier before it's this hot!
Running outside is very different than running on my treadmill in the air conditioned basement. The pavement doesn't have the give of the treadmill and there's no TV to keep my mind occupied on something other than how much my lungs are struggling to take in enough oxygen. The heat felt unbearable at times and it was during those moments we walked.
I have my ipod shuffle but couldn't find a song that could lift me up to a higher energy. Maybe next time I'll just listen to my feet pounding the pavement and Ruby panting. It might be easier to maintain a running and breathing rhythm if I start without music for now.
If anyone on this blog site wants to join me, I'd love to read about your training experience too!!
So that's it. I have to stretch if I want to be able to walk later today and tomorrow! I certainly hope Day 3 is easier than today.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Running to a healthier life Day 1
Today I finally started my personal commitment to better health. I've been riding my kids long enough about healthy food choices and exercise, so it was time to get off my ever spreading middle aged butt, and walk the talk, or run in this case.
My inspiration, three children who completed their first triathlon this summer on one of the hottest days we've had all season. My children did something I could not in my current physical condition. Oh, I do a laundrython every week running up and down the stairs, but to swim, bike and run...not gonna happen. I was in awe watching them run from the pool to the transition area, come back after their long bike ride, take a quick drink of water and run off to the trail! I thought they would be too hot and tired after the biking to continue, but each had such determination to finish the whole triathlon. Phenomenal!
I started the year with a bang doing an awesome workout on New Year's Day! Gave myself a big pat on the back and vowed to continue all year. Well, that promise lasted until the next day and I didn't work out again for several weeks. I've used the treadmill on and off this year, but more off than on.
Today I forced myself to get on the treadmill with a goal of running for 30 minutes. I was tired after a sleepless night spent between my snoring husband and son who snored due to a cold! My inner voices were really battling it out, but in the end the voice comparing my short run to the triathlon won out. The first three minutes were great....because I walked at a brisk pace rather than run. It's okay to walk, I told myself, it warms up the muscles. As the timer hit three minutes, I increased the speed to 3.7mph, forwarded to the Black Eyes Peas on my ipod, and picked up my pace to a jog. It felt great, for the first two minutes and then it just hurt. My lungs! How the hell was I going to keep it up for 27 minutes?!
I had to find a song with the same beat I was jogging to settle into a good pace. Demi Lovato? Nope. Plumb? No. It was Miley Cyrus. (Yes, I do share my shuffle with my children and so most of the songs are ones they like. ) But honestly, in my opinion, both Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus are talented singers. I digress....maybe to forget the torture of my run today!
In the end I made it to 33 minutes. :-) It felt like I the first time I stepped on the treadmill in years! The first 10 minutes of running was the toughest until I was warmed up and into a zone. I walked one minute before picking up the pace again for another 10 minutes of running. This second set seemed to move quicker and gave me hope that I could do the whole 30 today. After my last one minute walk, I once again picked up the pace, and it was tough! I was sweating like a pig, my legs were tired, my lungs hurt and my feet felt like bricks crashing the treadmill with each step. I decided to take my pulse after the 8 minute mark and felt some concern for my heart!!! My pulse was up to 280!!!!!!!!!! Totally freaked out, I slowed to a brisk walk for 2 minutes to slow my heart rate before doing a slow jog of 3.5mph to finish up the last 2 minutes of my run.
How did I feel when I finished? Elated!!!!!!!!!!!! I completed Day 1 of my training. Oh...did I say training? Hmm, I forgot to mention that I have spent the last two weeks telling my family and friends I am going to do a 5km run in October. I had not signed up, only googled local runs to find out when there was a scheduled race before the weather got too cold! When I told one particular friend, who happens to be a twice Ironman competitor, she said, "Well maybe I'll do it with you!" Eek!!! Oh drat, was she calling my bluff? I hadn't even signed up, just looked for one to talk about and maybe, perhaps, think about entering.
Guess what? Before signing on tonight to blog, I did it! I registered to participate in a 5km race!! I felt a jolt of fear, and my fingers are still cold, upon hitting the submit key, but it's done, paid for, set in stone, or at least cyber stone anyway.
Truthbtold, I have always wanted to enter a big race, with tons of entrants, just to be able to start with the big crowd and cross the finish line at the end. It's on my bucket list, but I don't actually call it a bucket list.
So now you know, my secret is out! I am finally going to do it, a 5km race. I have set a goal for myself.
Egad.....wish me luck with Day 2.
My inspiration, three children who completed their first triathlon this summer on one of the hottest days we've had all season. My children did something I could not in my current physical condition. Oh, I do a laundrython every week running up and down the stairs, but to swim, bike and run...not gonna happen. I was in awe watching them run from the pool to the transition area, come back after their long bike ride, take a quick drink of water and run off to the trail! I thought they would be too hot and tired after the biking to continue, but each had such determination to finish the whole triathlon. Phenomenal!
I started the year with a bang doing an awesome workout on New Year's Day! Gave myself a big pat on the back and vowed to continue all year. Well, that promise lasted until the next day and I didn't work out again for several weeks. I've used the treadmill on and off this year, but more off than on.
Today I forced myself to get on the treadmill with a goal of running for 30 minutes. I was tired after a sleepless night spent between my snoring husband and son who snored due to a cold! My inner voices were really battling it out, but in the end the voice comparing my short run to the triathlon won out. The first three minutes were great....because I walked at a brisk pace rather than run. It's okay to walk, I told myself, it warms up the muscles. As the timer hit three minutes, I increased the speed to 3.7mph, forwarded to the Black Eyes Peas on my ipod, and picked up my pace to a jog. It felt great, for the first two minutes and then it just hurt. My lungs! How the hell was I going to keep it up for 27 minutes?!
I had to find a song with the same beat I was jogging to settle into a good pace. Demi Lovato? Nope. Plumb? No. It was Miley Cyrus. (Yes, I do share my shuffle with my children and so most of the songs are ones they like. ) But honestly, in my opinion, both Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus are talented singers. I digress....maybe to forget the torture of my run today!
In the end I made it to 33 minutes. :-) It felt like I the first time I stepped on the treadmill in years! The first 10 minutes of running was the toughest until I was warmed up and into a zone. I walked one minute before picking up the pace again for another 10 minutes of running. This second set seemed to move quicker and gave me hope that I could do the whole 30 today. After my last one minute walk, I once again picked up the pace, and it was tough! I was sweating like a pig, my legs were tired, my lungs hurt and my feet felt like bricks crashing the treadmill with each step. I decided to take my pulse after the 8 minute mark and felt some concern for my heart!!! My pulse was up to 280!!!!!!!!!! Totally freaked out, I slowed to a brisk walk for 2 minutes to slow my heart rate before doing a slow jog of 3.5mph to finish up the last 2 minutes of my run.
How did I feel when I finished? Elated!!!!!!!!!!!! I completed Day 1 of my training. Oh...did I say training? Hmm, I forgot to mention that I have spent the last two weeks telling my family and friends I am going to do a 5km run in October. I had not signed up, only googled local runs to find out when there was a scheduled race before the weather got too cold! When I told one particular friend, who happens to be a twice Ironman competitor, she said, "Well maybe I'll do it with you!" Eek!!! Oh drat, was she calling my bluff? I hadn't even signed up, just looked for one to talk about and maybe, perhaps, think about entering.
Guess what? Before signing on tonight to blog, I did it! I registered to participate in a 5km race!! I felt a jolt of fear, and my fingers are still cold, upon hitting the submit key, but it's done, paid for, set in stone, or at least cyber stone anyway.
Truthbtold, I have always wanted to enter a big race, with tons of entrants, just to be able to start with the big crowd and cross the finish line at the end. It's on my bucket list, but I don't actually call it a bucket list.
So now you know, my secret is out! I am finally going to do it, a 5km race. I have set a goal for myself.
Egad.....wish me luck with Day 2.
Monday, August 31, 2009
photographic memories
I should be sleeping, but here I sit at my computer. How can I sleep when so many things are racing through my mind?
I've just uploaded several images to an online photo contest as I do at the end of every summer. I love taking pictures and have hundreds as proof. I also love the excitement I feel knowing so many people will be looking at my photos! Will this be the year one of my pictures is chosen? It would be so cool! The photos I keep all mean something to me. They capture the moments, people, animals, views, sites I want to remember forever. (As much as I hate to admit it, my memory is not what it used to be.....eek, turning 44 does that to a person!)
I have to wait for at least a month before any decisions will be made and then almost three months to see the winning pictures. The anticipation is thrilling! Fingers crossed and putting it out there to the great universe.
It's not the camera I want to win, it's seeing a photograph I've taken published in a magazine. Wouldn't it be fun to be a take photographs for a living.
Well........I don't know if anyone out there is reading, but if you are, please cross your fingers for me too! :-)
I've just uploaded several images to an online photo contest as I do at the end of every summer. I love taking pictures and have hundreds as proof. I also love the excitement I feel knowing so many people will be looking at my photos! Will this be the year one of my pictures is chosen? It would be so cool! The photos I keep all mean something to me. They capture the moments, people, animals, views, sites I want to remember forever. (As much as I hate to admit it, my memory is not what it used to be.....eek, turning 44 does that to a person!)
I have to wait for at least a month before any decisions will be made and then almost three months to see the winning pictures. The anticipation is thrilling! Fingers crossed and putting it out there to the great universe.
It's not the camera I want to win, it's seeing a photograph I've taken published in a magazine. Wouldn't it be fun to be a take photographs for a living.
Well........I don't know if anyone out there is reading, but if you are, please cross your fingers for me too! :-)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
end of summer tension
Ah...the familiar sound of bickering, I know it well. My children get along famously most of the time, but at the end of summer vacation when back to school anxieties start, they invade each others personal bubble to see a reaction.
My theory is that somehow this reaction helps them work through their own inner turmoil about returning to school. Seeing their sibling lose it, releases their own emotional roller coaster so they silently scream along and enjoy the ride. Returning to school, not knowing who will be in their class or who their new teacher will be, a higher grade with higher expectations of learning...it's a lot of pressure for a child or adult for that matter. As they don't know how to identify or communicate this surmounting emotional weight, they all act it out in different ways.
My oldest keeps saying how she's excited to go back to school. She said when we were on our way home from the cottage (two weeks ago) she thought about it and got excited. Several mornings now she has shared her dreams and feels confident her dreams have revealed which teacher she is going to have. My middle child has retreated to her own space and does not want anyone near. She wants to be alone. My youngest simply stated he only ever wants to be in JK or SK for the rest of his life. He's going into grade 2.
Such difference coping mechanisms they all have even though their anxiety stems from the same event, the first day of school. Try as I may to be positive and loving, sometimes I'd just like to scream along with them to see if it stops them from getting in each others face?! I had put school out of my mind and was ready to relax and enjoy these last two weeks of vacation, but obviously it's on my children's minds.
So how do I help them? Good question and I only wish I had a simple answer. I try very hard not to overdose on M&M's when the kids go to bed and listen when they have a serious complaint. For example, my daughter lost it because her brother would not sit at her feet and listen to her read Pinocchio! Instead he picked up a french picture dictionary and started to point to the words and pictures he recognized. My daughter could not understand why he did not want to listen to her read. My son just wants to play, but one sister either wants to be alone or reading to him and his other sister only wants to play what she wants to play. Ahhh...I'm sure you are laughing at this and it is funny, but I can't laugh when they are so serious about their personal dilemmas.
I for one am determined to enjoy the last days of summer before the hectic fall schedule begins and if I have to, I will drag my kids along for the ride kicking and screaming all the way to the beach. :-)
My theory is that somehow this reaction helps them work through their own inner turmoil about returning to school. Seeing their sibling lose it, releases their own emotional roller coaster so they silently scream along and enjoy the ride. Returning to school, not knowing who will be in their class or who their new teacher will be, a higher grade with higher expectations of learning...it's a lot of pressure for a child or adult for that matter. As they don't know how to identify or communicate this surmounting emotional weight, they all act it out in different ways.
My oldest keeps saying how she's excited to go back to school. She said when we were on our way home from the cottage (two weeks ago) she thought about it and got excited. Several mornings now she has shared her dreams and feels confident her dreams have revealed which teacher she is going to have. My middle child has retreated to her own space and does not want anyone near. She wants to be alone. My youngest simply stated he only ever wants to be in JK or SK for the rest of his life. He's going into grade 2.
Such difference coping mechanisms they all have even though their anxiety stems from the same event, the first day of school. Try as I may to be positive and loving, sometimes I'd just like to scream along with them to see if it stops them from getting in each others face?! I had put school out of my mind and was ready to relax and enjoy these last two weeks of vacation, but obviously it's on my children's minds.
So how do I help them? Good question and I only wish I had a simple answer. I try very hard not to overdose on M&M's when the kids go to bed and listen when they have a serious complaint. For example, my daughter lost it because her brother would not sit at her feet and listen to her read Pinocchio! Instead he picked up a french picture dictionary and started to point to the words and pictures he recognized. My daughter could not understand why he did not want to listen to her read. My son just wants to play, but one sister either wants to be alone or reading to him and his other sister only wants to play what she wants to play. Ahhh...I'm sure you are laughing at this and it is funny, but I can't laugh when they are so serious about their personal dilemmas.
I for one am determined to enjoy the last days of summer before the hectic fall schedule begins and if I have to, I will drag my kids along for the ride kicking and screaming all the way to the beach. :-)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
From city to serenity
Which is a better vacation choice, a big city to keep you so busy you have no time to think or a secluded lakeside cottage where all you have to do is kick back and relax with your own thoughts?
I was fortunate this summer to have done both and wonder what is says about me if I preferred the big city vacation.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
ovulating is a beautiful thing...
Isn't a woman's monthly cycle fascinating? Not only is her body preparing physically to conceive, but emotionally and physiologically she is also preparing for what Motherhood will bring.
I started to chart when I had been breastfeeding my firstborn for six months. Knowing I planned to breastfeed for as long as my daughter was interested, I had no desire to take birth control pills and the thought of my husband using a sleeve wasn't appealing either. I searched the nearest Chapters to find a planned parenthood book and found one published by the Catholic church. I am not catholic, but was interested in reading more. As it turned out, my breasts were the source of comfort, food and entertainment for my daughter, so I had plenty of time to sit and read.
In the beginning, the thought of charting was a bit daunting. Checking my cervical fluid for elasticity, knowing whether my cervix was high or low, taking my temperature every morning...ew, who does that?! Not committed 100%, I charted on and off for a few months until my daughter was nearing one year old. It was when I wanted to conceive another child I dove head first into daily charting. I knew my daily waking temperature, the day my period would start, the day it would end, when my cervix was low, firm and closed or high, soft and open, what my cervical fluid was like, how it looked and the exact day of my ovulation. My husband was not interested to hear any of the details, just wanted to know when we'd have sex.
Charting worked like a charm, we conceived our second child and eventually our third child. I no longer chart, but because I spent so many years tuned into my body I still know what part of my cycle I'm in. Once tuned into my body, I could even feel the egg bursting out of my ovary! Amazing.
Ovulation is a beautiful thing! Emotionally, I can take on the world when I'm close to ovulating and the days following. I am on a natural, albeit hormonal, high. It's my best time of the month to try new things, dare myself to change and have incredible intimacy with my husband. I feel vibrant, sexy and all of my senses are heightened.
I often wonder if other women feel the emotional changes. Are they tuned in to their body to notice the change? Many women notice the emotional changes the week preceding their period, the negative energy, the intensity of sadness, anger, frustration. I notice my self-confidence is a bit shaky and my critical inner voice talks a little bit louder.
By tuning in to the positive energy I feel during ovulation, I am now able to balance the negative that sometimes comes with my period. I know that during menses I need to be easier on myself. I remind myself the critical voice is only my ego, and if I place the voice in my heart center, it becomes soft and loving.
Yes, ovulation is a beautiful time in the monthly cycle....I wonder if I will feel the same when my daughters start their cycle.
I started to chart when I had been breastfeeding my firstborn for six months. Knowing I planned to breastfeed for as long as my daughter was interested, I had no desire to take birth control pills and the thought of my husband using a sleeve wasn't appealing either. I searched the nearest Chapters to find a planned parenthood book and found one published by the Catholic church. I am not catholic, but was interested in reading more. As it turned out, my breasts were the source of comfort, food and entertainment for my daughter, so I had plenty of time to sit and read.
In the beginning, the thought of charting was a bit daunting. Checking my cervical fluid for elasticity, knowing whether my cervix was high or low, taking my temperature every morning...ew, who does that?! Not committed 100%, I charted on and off for a few months until my daughter was nearing one year old. It was when I wanted to conceive another child I dove head first into daily charting. I knew my daily waking temperature, the day my period would start, the day it would end, when my cervix was low, firm and closed or high, soft and open, what my cervical fluid was like, how it looked and the exact day of my ovulation. My husband was not interested to hear any of the details, just wanted to know when we'd have sex.
Charting worked like a charm, we conceived our second child and eventually our third child. I no longer chart, but because I spent so many years tuned into my body I still know what part of my cycle I'm in. Once tuned into my body, I could even feel the egg bursting out of my ovary! Amazing.
Ovulation is a beautiful thing! Emotionally, I can take on the world when I'm close to ovulating and the days following. I am on a natural, albeit hormonal, high. It's my best time of the month to try new things, dare myself to change and have incredible intimacy with my husband. I feel vibrant, sexy and all of my senses are heightened.
I often wonder if other women feel the emotional changes. Are they tuned in to their body to notice the change? Many women notice the emotional changes the week preceding their period, the negative energy, the intensity of sadness, anger, frustration. I notice my self-confidence is a bit shaky and my critical inner voice talks a little bit louder.
By tuning in to the positive energy I feel during ovulation, I am now able to balance the negative that sometimes comes with my period. I know that during menses I need to be easier on myself. I remind myself the critical voice is only my ego, and if I place the voice in my heart center, it becomes soft and loving.
Yes, ovulation is a beautiful time in the monthly cycle....I wonder if I will feel the same when my daughters start their cycle.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
renovations gone wrong
I am of the opinion when I pay someone a substantial amount of money a job will be done accurately. I know we are human, and as such we make mistakes. I accept this, but would like to know why some people make the same mistake over and over?!
Recently, we spent a large amount of money to have our kitchen and the main floor of our house renovated.
When the job ran over time, we expected and accepted it.
When the counter was too long, we asked them to recut to the correct length.
When the cupboards were ordered incorrectly, we modified our original design and ordered two smaller cupboards rather than send back the upper and lower bank of cupboards already installed.
When the contractor drilled too far and put holes in the adjoining dining room wall, we just asked him to patch the holes.
When the contractor re-installed the powder room vanity too far from the wall, we just politely pointed it out and asked him to move it to the original spot.
When our household alarm started to make loud alarm bleeping sounds in the middle of the night, after freaking out, I called our alarm rep and following his instructions found the contractor had tripped the breaker switch causing the alarm battery to run out.
When the alarm started making a different bleeping sound in the middle of the afternoon, our alarm rep spent two hours to figure out we had a leak from our laundry room running into our electrical box! The next day when I told the contractor about the leak and it took him a week to fix it.
When they hooked up the water line to our fridge and the next day we found it was leaking into the basement, we asked them to come back to fix it.
When Mike, a different contractor, told us the back splash was crooked, we tried to come up with a solution other than taking it down. It's still crooked and it bothers me every time I look at it.
Tonight as two of my children had just fallen asleep the alarm started to make the loud bleeping sound AGAIN! We ran down to check the electrical box and sure enough the leak is still there!
Now I'm mad. We've been accommodating and polite with the contractors because we expected there would be some issues. We had heard renovation horror stories from friends so we thought the little things that happened weren't as bad as what others had lived through. As I sit here recounting all the mishaps, I feel like we've been way too passive.
If the squeaky wheel gets the grease, it's time for us to start screeching. I have not been able to contact our alarm rep so my fingers are crossed it doesn't go off again and wake the kids. Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday and the renovation shop is open.
The contractor said, "You'll love me in the beginning, hate me in the middle, and love me in the end." I'm still waiting to feel the love.
Recently, we spent a large amount of money to have our kitchen and the main floor of our house renovated.
When the job ran over time, we expected and accepted it.
When the counter was too long, we asked them to recut to the correct length.
When the cupboards were ordered incorrectly, we modified our original design and ordered two smaller cupboards rather than send back the upper and lower bank of cupboards already installed.
When the contractor drilled too far and put holes in the adjoining dining room wall, we just asked him to patch the holes.
When the contractor re-installed the powder room vanity too far from the wall, we just politely pointed it out and asked him to move it to the original spot.
When our household alarm started to make loud alarm bleeping sounds in the middle of the night, after freaking out, I called our alarm rep and following his instructions found the contractor had tripped the breaker switch causing the alarm battery to run out.
When the alarm started making a different bleeping sound in the middle of the afternoon, our alarm rep spent two hours to figure out we had a leak from our laundry room running into our electrical box! The next day when I told the contractor about the leak and it took him a week to fix it.
When they hooked up the water line to our fridge and the next day we found it was leaking into the basement, we asked them to come back to fix it.
When Mike, a different contractor, told us the back splash was crooked, we tried to come up with a solution other than taking it down. It's still crooked and it bothers me every time I look at it.
Tonight as two of my children had just fallen asleep the alarm started to make the loud bleeping sound AGAIN! We ran down to check the electrical box and sure enough the leak is still there!
Now I'm mad. We've been accommodating and polite with the contractors because we expected there would be some issues. We had heard renovation horror stories from friends so we thought the little things that happened weren't as bad as what others had lived through. As I sit here recounting all the mishaps, I feel like we've been way too passive.
If the squeaky wheel gets the grease, it's time for us to start screeching. I have not been able to contact our alarm rep so my fingers are crossed it doesn't go off again and wake the kids. Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday and the renovation shop is open.
The contractor said, "You'll love me in the beginning, hate me in the middle, and love me in the end." I'm still waiting to feel the love.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
morning calm
I'm an early riser which means I wake up at an hour when most of the world is still sleeping, slip from my bed, sneak downstairs to enjoy a large mug of tea while I savour the silence of my home, meditate, photograph the garden, journal, write, or simply appreciate all the good in my life. To be honest, I rise early in a quest to relive what I loved about being single.
What I have to admit is most mornings I wake up, roll out of my king sized bed, tiptoe across the room as to not wake my husband, three children or the two dogs. Do any of you have children or dogs, or both?!
The minute my feet hit the carpet, Ruby, my boxer, is awake and whining, above a whisper, at the top of the stairs! I do my best to ignore her, look the other way, stand up tall, freeze, but my tactics cannot fool her. She's doing her boxer dance and howling to let the whole world know...."I'm going outside and it's time for breakfast!" If her singing does not wake the household, the squeaky gate at the top of the stairs often does the trick. I could remove the gate, but the morning ritual of Ruby doing the 68 pound dance of joy on my thighs was taking its toll. The spiral staircase should be an easy route. I've been walking down stairs for forty years now, but it becomes tricky when Ruby follows behind with her head up my butt.
Downstairs there are only three hurdles to complete before the silent house is mine! I have to keep Ruby quiet on the hardwood floor, shut off the alarm, and open the back door. I have to mention, Ruby is part kangaroo, so walking to the door is not an option for her, she hops, loudly. I quickly grab her collar to calm her then shut off the alarm. My pulse quickens as I only have to open the back door before I can enjoy the silence. At the door, Zebo, our boston terrier, takes over where Ruby's jumping left off, boink, boink boink. They settle and wait for the door to slide open so they can charge out to chase the squirrel taunting them from the fence.
Ahhhhh, I did it! A small feat for a single woman, a leap of glory for this Mom! I turn on the kettle, take my favourite mug off the shelf, then hear the upstairs gate rattle open and my kids whisper as they tiptoe downstairs.
I look out at the beautiful sun filled morning and remind myself, I love my kids, I love my dogs, I love my life.
Enjoy your day!
What I have to admit is most mornings I wake up, roll out of my king sized bed, tiptoe across the room as to not wake my husband, three children or the two dogs. Do any of you have children or dogs, or both?!
The minute my feet hit the carpet, Ruby, my boxer, is awake and whining, above a whisper, at the top of the stairs! I do my best to ignore her, look the other way, stand up tall, freeze, but my tactics cannot fool her. She's doing her boxer dance and howling to let the whole world know...."I'm going outside and it's time for breakfast!" If her singing does not wake the household, the squeaky gate at the top of the stairs often does the trick. I could remove the gate, but the morning ritual of Ruby doing the 68 pound dance of joy on my thighs was taking its toll. The spiral staircase should be an easy route. I've been walking down stairs for forty years now, but it becomes tricky when Ruby follows behind with her head up my butt.
Downstairs there are only three hurdles to complete before the silent house is mine! I have to keep Ruby quiet on the hardwood floor, shut off the alarm, and open the back door. I have to mention, Ruby is part kangaroo, so walking to the door is not an option for her, she hops, loudly. I quickly grab her collar to calm her then shut off the alarm. My pulse quickens as I only have to open the back door before I can enjoy the silence. At the door, Zebo, our boston terrier, takes over where Ruby's jumping left off, boink, boink boink. They settle and wait for the door to slide open so they can charge out to chase the squirrel taunting them from the fence.
Ahhhhh, I did it! A small feat for a single woman, a leap of glory for this Mom! I turn on the kettle, take my favourite mug off the shelf, then hear the upstairs gate rattle open and my kids whisper as they tiptoe downstairs.
I look out at the beautiful sun filled morning and remind myself, I love my kids, I love my dogs, I love my life.
Enjoy your day!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Startingpoint
If someone told me this morning, by nightfall you'll be blogging, I would have laughed out loud. How is it that at 43 years old, a Mother of three wonderful children, I am desperately trying to find myself? I have no idea how a blog is going to lead me to the path I was meant to follow, but it certainly can't hurt!
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